Album Review - “$tarface” by Tyga
So here’s the thing: I did you a solid. I listened to Tyga’s new album $tarface so you don’t have to. Since reading the Pitchfork review, which gave the album a rare 0.0 rating, I figured it couldn’t be THAT bad… Boy was I wrong.
Anywho, here’s my track by track analysis of each song.
1 - “Spinnin In Circles” - If you told me this was written by ChatGPT, I would believe you. This is ass. "Everything looks like purple. All white rooms." That's a legit line. This song is ass. It was so ass that I had to say ass twice. This song lacks any creative element that would make the track sound organic or fun. The topics range from everything you would expect from a Scarface rip-off from someone who perhaps has never seen Scarface. Driving fast, drugs, women, and cars.
2 - “White Grains” - Yeah, rating this album a zero might have been too generous. This song, and the album, feel like he had a half-idea and acted on it without a second thought. Once again, not a single moment of artistic value in this song.
3 - “Powdered Dreams” - PEEYEW!!!! He talks about the same shit as the past two songs. Driving fast, leather seats, drugs, and driving fast. Once again, he says nothing memorable; he adds nothing fun; he ruins this... already barely passable Casio beat. Side note: I’m beginning to believe that if you asked ChatGPT to write an 80s-based song reminiscent of Scarface, it would create something far better than this.
4 - “Just Us Tonight” - In the beginning, the song felt passable because the beat performed a LeBron-level carry job. Nothing I'd ever play again. However, the more this song went on, the worse it got. He drowns out the beat by screaming "tonight"; this song went from a 1/10 to a 0.3/1. He continues to stink up the joint.
5 - “Freezing” -It just hit me that I'm listening to someone who dated an underage girl while he was in his 20s. I completely forgot that Tyga is a piece of shit. This song is so bad that it made me remember his worst sins.
6 - “Gave U Racks” -I’m counting down the moments until this album finishes. As someone who listens to indie rappers for fun, I'm judging this based on his budget, previous releases, and access to his list of friends. This project deserves every bit of a zero. He is giving us nothing. Pure garbage. The assiest album of 2026.
7 - “Time Is Currency” - His producer should have shot him right then and there. The producer would have gotten off on self defense if he played this track in court. This is audio-sin.
8 - “Affection” - Every song is now blended into one sound, everything sounds the same. He is still talking about the same shit from song one. Whatever record label approved this album should get sued for medical malpractice. He can't sing, yet he insists on singing. He could barely rap, yet he doesn't touch it. Everything about this album is out of place and wrong.
9 - “Died 4U” - Want to hear a horror story? a power ballad by Tyga…
10 - “Last Forever” - The best thing about this track is that it ends. A true shit stain on the ears of life. He went into the studio, said "Give me something that sounds like the 80s" with some shifty synths, and watch me harm the general public.”
A zero rating means not only has the rapper failed, but also the producers, the friends around him, anyone who agreed to listen, and the person mixing and mastering have failed. Everyone failed to the point that it felt like sabotage to his career. I say that to say, a zero is tremendously generous. He created something that is nothing short of audio-harm. In a lesser country, he would probably stand trial (rightfully so), and this album should call for an intervention. Truly the assiest album of the year.
